By Omolola

Because if you wouldn’t talk to your friend like that, why do it to yourself?

Let’s be real. Some of us are way nicer to our friends than we are to ourselves. We uplift our friends, provide comfort, and send them empowering voice notes with messages like “you’ve got this!” But when it comes to our own self-talk? We need to stop being so harsh on ourselves.

But, here’s the truth: you spend the most time with yourself. You deserve to be your own safe space, not your biggest bully.

What if you learned to be your own best friend instead of your biggest critic?

What Exactly Is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion is not about ignoring your flaws or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about allowing yourself to be human. It’s choosing to respond to your struggles with care instead of criticism.

It’s telling yourself, “I messed up, but I’m still worthy.”

It’s saying, “This is hard, but I’m doing my best.”

It’s learning to treat yourself with the same softness and understanding you offer the people you love.

Why It’s So Important (Especially for Our Mental Health)

Self-compassion isn’t just a “feel-good” concept. It has the power to:

• Reduce vulnerability to depression and anxiety
• Improve resilience during tough times
• Boosts your overall well-being
• Helps you bounce back from failures quicker

When we learn to stop beating ourselves up and start showing up with grace, we create space for growth, healing, and peace.

So, How Do You Actually Practice It?

Here are a few ways to start being a better friend to yourself:

• Be aware of your inner voice.

Notice when your self-talk becomes harsh or unfair. Ask yourself:

“Would I say this to someone I love?”

“If someone I care about was told this, would I be okay with it?”

“If someone I love spoke to themselves this way, how would that make me feel?”

If your answer is no, then try again, this time, more gently.

• Let go of perfection.

You’re not a robot. It’s important to understand that you’re not expected to get everything right all the time.

The idea that you need to be perfect and can’t make any mistakes needs to go. You make mistakes, acknowledge those mistakes and learn from them. Mistakes = growth.

• Validate your feelings.

Your emotions are valid, even if they’re messy. “This hurts” is not a weakness; it’s honesty. There’s no need to suppress your emotions or criticise yourself for being upset about something.

Give yourself permission to feel without judgment. You’re human.

• Take care of your basic needs.

Rest. Hydrate. Eat. Breathe. Take time for yourself, whether it’s resting, watching a movie or doing any activity you love.

• Show yourself grace on bad days.

You won’t always be your best self, and that’s okay. Your mistakes shouldn’t define your worth. Self-compassion means loving yourself through it, not in spite of it.

Self-compassion isn’t about lowering your standards or ignoring your goals. It’s about learning that you don’t need to suffer to grow. You don’t need to criticise yourself to do better. You just need to feel safe enough with yourself to keep going.

So, talk to yourself with kindness. Be patient with your process, and when life gets heavy, remember: You are not alone. Help is always available, and that is a powerful thing.