By Omolola
Everyone wants to be a good friend, but when someone we care about is struggling with suicidal thoughts, it can feel scary. You might wonder, What if I say the wrong thing? What if I make it worse? The truth is, being there for someone is not about being able to have perfect words that would automatically change the situation. It’s about showing up and allowing your presence to be felt; it’s about being kind, patient, and showing care.
How Can This Be Done?
- Listen without judgment
Your friend does not need you to solve everything. They need someone who will hear them out.
Let them talk about how they feel without interrupting or invalidating them. Avoid phrases like “You’ll be fine” or “Just think positively.” These words are very dismissive and could make opening up harder for your friend.
Instead, try:
- “I hear you, and I’m here for you. I may not know exactly what to say, but I’m here if you need anything.”
- “That sounds really hard. Thank you for telling me.” Sometimes, the act of listening alone can help someone feel less alone in their pain.
- Be careful with your words
Words matter. One hurtful word and your friend might find it difficult to open up. Words like “You’re just being dramatic,” “You shouldn’t complain, others have it worse,” are very hurtful and lack empathy. When talking to a friend who is struggling with suicidal thoughts, empathy is needed. Make sure your words are making things better, not worse.
- Encourage professional help
As much as you want to help, you are not a therapist. Gently encourage your friend to seek professional support from a counsellor, doctor, or mental health organisation. You can even offer to sit with them while they make a call or check out resources together.
- Know when to act
If your friend talks about harming themselves, do not keep it a secret. It may feel like betrayal, but speaking up can save a life. Tell a trusted adult, a counsellor, or a mental health professional immediately.
5. Take care of yourself, too
Supporting someone through a hard time can be draining. Remember to look after your own mental health. Rest, recharge, and lean on people you trust. You cannot support others if you are completely drained.
Being there for someone does not mean you have to be perfect. It means showing up, listening, and reminding them they are not alone. Sometimes, that is the most powerful gift you can give.
