By Omolola

If overthinking were a sport, some of us would have countless imaginary trophies. You know the drill. Someone doesn’t reply to your message for 5 hours, and suddenly you’ve constructed 12 different storylines, 3 friendship breakups, and 1 dramatic public apology (in your head, of course).

Hi, my name is Omolola, and I’m a recovering overthinker. Well, trying to recover. Some days I’m better at it. Other days, I spiral so badly. But here’s the thing: overthinking isn’t just quirky. It can be draining, anxiety-inducing, and affect how we relate to others and ourselves.

Let’s talk about it.

What Even Is Overthinking?

Overthinking is when your brain takes a simple situation and turns it into a full-blown soap opera. It’s that constant loop of what-ifs, regrets, future predictions, and over-analysing things you said, didn’t say, should’ve said, should’ve done…You get the gist.

It’s not the same as being thoughtful or reflective. Overthinking doesn’t give you clarity. It just gives you stress.

Why Do We Do It?

• Fear of the unknown: Not knowing what’s going to happen makes our brains try to “solve” the future.
• Trying to stay in control: If we imagine every possible outcome, we think we’ll be more prepared (spoiler alert: we’re not).
• Perfectionism: We want to say or do the “right” thing all the time, so we spend hours replaying and planning.

The Catch? It Doesn’t Help.

Overthinking feels productive, but it rarely is. It can:

• Increase your anxiety
• Lead to decision paralysis
• Make you avoid situations altogether
• Mess with your sleep, mood, and relationships

And let’s not even start on how it drains your energy.

How to Stop (or at Least Slow Down) the Mental Gymnastics

So you’ve caught yourself spiralling again. Welcome to the club. But here’s the good news: you can learn to calm the chaos. It might take practice and a little patience, but it’s possible. Here are some things that can help:

• Name It When It’s Happening

Sometimes just saying, “I’m overthinking again,” out loud or in your head is enough to interrupt the thought spiral. It creates space between you and your thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You’re the one noticing them.

When I notice I’m about to start overthinking, sometimes I tell myself to stop. I say it loudly so I can interrupt those thoughts coming in. It sounds simple, but it can work.

• Challenge the Thought Loop

Your brain loves drama. It’ll serve you “worst-case scenarios” like it’s Netflix.

But ask yourself:

• Is this really true?
• What evidence do I have for and against this thought?
• If my best friend had this thought, what would I say to them? Being kind to your own brain the way you would to someone you love can break the cycle of self-blame.

• Get the Thoughts Out of Your Head (Literally)

Grab your journal, your notes app, or even a random piece of paper. Write the thoughts down. Seeing them in front of you helps you step back and realise how exaggerated or repetitive they are.

Bonus: If you notice you’re writing the same worry over and over again, that’s a sign it’s not new. It seems like your mind is caught in a loop.

• Do Something That Anchors You in the Now

When your thoughts are stuck in the future or the past, do something that roots you in the present:

• Put your hand on your chest and feel your breath
• Run cold water over your hands
• Take a walk and name five things you can see or hear
• Blast your favorite feel-good playlist (bonus if you dance like no one’s watching)

Grounding techniques remind your brain, “Hey, we’re safe right now.”

• Set a ‘Worry Window’

Give your brain permission to worry, but on a schedule. Set a timer for 10–15 minutes and allow yourself to think about the thing that’s bothering you. After that, do something completely different. This tricks your brain into realising you’re in control, not the thoughts.

• Talk to Someone You Trust

Sometimes, a five-minute conversation with a friend can shut down an entire spiral. Not because they have all the answers, but because saying it out loud helps it feel less heavy and less true.

You don’t necessarily need advice. Sometimes you just need a listening ear.

• Remember: Progress, Not Perfection

You won’t magically stop overthinking overnight. The goal isn’t to never worry again. It’s to catch yourself sooner and treat yourself more gently. Some days you’ll overthink. Some days you’ll breathe through it like a boss. Both are valid. You’re learning. And that’s a big deal.

You’re not weird for overthinking. You’re human. But if your thoughts are constantly running laps in your mind and leaving you exhausted, it might be time to slow the pace, stretch your mental muscles, and breathe. And remember, not everything needs to be figured out right now. Some things unfold with time. You deserve peace while they do.